Saturday 18 February 2023

Pussy Riot. - That's just middle age. It'll sort itself ou'.

Two Pints I started to read Roddy Doyle's Two Pints a few years ago, when an Irish friend gave me a copy and told me it was "feckin' brilliant". Well, I didn't get far with it. I couldn't get to grips with the dialogue, written to try and capture the Dublin accent. So the book lurked at the back of the shelf, forgotten.

And then came the great summer flood.

A water tank above the flat burst, and everything had to be removed before a complete renovation. I picked up Two Pints, one of the few hardbacks on the shelf, felt its smooth cover, noted the simple image of two blokes sitting on stools at a bar. It's slim, no more than a centimetre thick, would probably take no more than a day to read. It felt like something precious. So I turned again to the first page, titled 24-5-11, and on the fifth line down, it says, "An' B'rack. He must've kissed every fuckin' baby in Offaly." This must refer to Barack Obama, I thought. So I googled it, and sure enough, Barack Obama visited Dublin in May 2011, claiming Irish ancestry. I mean, I laughed at that, and after reading Obama's amusing speech, the idea of the book, two Irish blokes talking "bollix", suddenly clicked.

It's a series of conversations from May 2011 to September 2012. The men talk about current affairs, family, and sport. And it's laugh-out-loud funny. A few pages in, I hooted at a conversation about "Brazilians". The drug dealers are "Gettin' the hair off. Arse hair as well... In case they're caught on Prime Time Investigates. With the drugs hidden up there, like." (5-7-11)

Then there are the two Gaddafis: the one from "the chipper", and "the other one. From Libya." Not to mention the disturbing habits of grandson Damien and his menagerie.

Well, it won't appeal to everyone. There's a lot of swearing and a lot of sacrilegious humour, but if you're a fan of Father Ted you're likely to enjoy it.

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